I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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