just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
