I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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