There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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