Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
