fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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