So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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