Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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