he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
