I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
