Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
