Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
