Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
