Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
