so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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