sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
