The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
