the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
