Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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