I feel great
I just peed on a car
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
