I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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