my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize