I wish life had little blips of pornography
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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