Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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