so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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