just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
birth control should be required to get into college
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
