So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
