I hope mine doesn't look like that
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
