This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Barsexuality is the new black.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
