Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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