Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
