drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize