Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
