we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
