I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
