Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
