Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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