I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
