He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
