When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
