the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
