Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
