I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize