I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
