she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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