fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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