I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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