The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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