he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
