The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
