dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
