New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
operation have a gay friend backfired
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
