I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
