dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
