im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
