More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
