He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
