Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
