We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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