maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
