He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
